To whichever algorithm it may concern,
I’m writing because you continue to think that I’m interested in watching videos demonstrating the lack of Earth’s curvature. I’m not.
People change.
Last Christmas, my uncle and I had an enlightening conversation as we bonded over our enjoyment of being right. We spoke of politics, family life, and his mistrust of microwave ovens.
Also we were high. Very, very high.
Marijuana, he explained, was decalcifying my pineal gland, which had been rendered dormant due to fluoridated water and 4G internet. This came as a complete and total shock to me, having spent my entire life as a mindless sheep, lulled into complacency by the digital age. Seeing with one’s third eye for the first time is like nothing “they” want us to experience.
I would never be the same.
In their hubris, the otherwise omniscient Illuminati had overlooked a structural flaw in
their plans for global domination: YouTube. It is the small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port, through which proton torpedoes of truth shall cause a chain reaction that destroys the entire structure.
Video after video, I exposed my awakened mind to the truths of the world. The truths that had been hidden. The truths we’re not meant to know. The truths of how much truth there truly is.
Finally, I knew that the CIA killed JFK, Stanley Kubrick staged the moon landing, the real Paul McCartney died years ago, and Jews run the media.
I knew full well that at any moment a team of agents, their armor’s black hue paling in comparison to the darkness to which they sold their souls, might drag me away kicking and screaming, never to be seen again.
But for the first time in my life, I was free.
I’ve walked this Earth for 36 years, and only now have I discovered the greatest truth of all:
there will soon be new episodes of Rick and Morty.
Please fill my recommends with Rick and Morty clips, that show is the best.
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